who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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