i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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