guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
