i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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