just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
