how can u be prego again
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
