Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
