your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
