Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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