If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
this boner is exhausting
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize