he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
