she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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