i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
