I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
