i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
