Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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