just tell him i said nine months
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
