The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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