Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
