My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Ladies don't puke and tell
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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