We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
