lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
