she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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