Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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