FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
This is the high leading the old right now
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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