I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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