He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
