she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
