Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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