We won't sleep together?
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
