Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
