As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
