everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
