So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Still dying that you shit outside
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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