What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
