He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Text me some of your sweat
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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