wat bout pragnant strippers??
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
