is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
