Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
