I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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