I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
