Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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