How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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