In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
