Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You're like the curious george of whores
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
