I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
