How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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