dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We named our party play list daddy issues
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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