I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
