Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
