I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
