and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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