I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize