in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
