do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I deserve this hangover.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize