i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
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