Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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