"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
