Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
