She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
