My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Randomize
