im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
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