bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Drunk is not a location!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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