No awkward lesbian experiences without me
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
